The Widow
She didn’t want to tell him of the last one who owned her heart
the one who she thought would sit by her on the swing
watching each-other’s hair turn silver and
faces form wrinkles in the corners of their mouth
from the many years of laughter they had shared
she didn’t want to tell him that he was dead
that she was left to swing alone on the porch of
the house they bought on their second anniversary
on the same porch where now, someone new
was asking for her company at dinner
because then he may pity her
the widow
and should he find that she was boring
or that she eats too slowly and they will always
be late for the movie
he may be reluctant to just
say goodnight and never call back
all because he feels sorry for her
because he would know that when she goes in
and the lights turn off
she will crawl into his side of the bed
and cry herself to sleep
and what kind of man does that to a woman
who lost her husband
ten years ago
That was a sad poem although beautiful. The widow will continue to mourn and celebrate the time she had with her first love.
The man courting her may never win her heart, and if so, she will live in the past with no chance for a future with him.
An empty side of the bed is a symbol of that emptiness.
A woman or man should not be left alone when there is still love to share.
Wonderful, all be it a very sad, share. My heart is breaking at the image of the poor soul curling up…and I guess maybe that’s what she she didn’t want any of us to see.
This is a mesmerizing read. It tells about so much. The raw emotions are intense.
The sorrow of a loved ones loss is immeasurable. My heart could not hold the ache I would feel if – well, when – my husband of 46 years would be gone. A widow I would be but the sorrow would never go away. I felt every word in this. Thank you for your ability to put this type of sadness into words.
Blessings,
Isadora
Dear Kellie
Its so emotionally strong and poignant. Your last lines touched me deeply…
‘she will crawl into his side of the bed
and cry herself to sleep
and what kind of man does that to a woman
who lost her husband
ten years ago’
Loss is such a deep emotion that it leaves its mark forever on the soul… and then you know the tears don’t work much… but some how I have found my words quite therapeutic.
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-where-you-will-go.html
It is strange how we find solace in tears. But as you say after a time, the hurt remains but the tears just have no place any longer. Thank you Shashi for the kind words and your support.
oh, this is so sad … but maybe she could find comfort in this new company and make the lonely nights and the tears bearable, and maybe with time she could feel happy again, maybe …
Not about the man but about the widow and the reasons for her reluctance with opening herself up to another, to let him know that she had once someone that truly meant all her life to her. Thank you for this poem, lovely yet sad, one that portrays the difficult emotions well.
Kellie…well written and heart tugging. Have never been widowed, have been told one can’t know what it is like unless you’ve been there…BUT…I think you let me know what it could be like….thank you so much for a vivid view of a slice of life..
Peace,
Siggi in Downeast Maine
I haven’t been in that place either, thankfully I still have my husband. I was watching a t.v. show and a woman was talking about how she had met someone but didn’t feel right about telling him yet that she was a widow. She didn’t elaborate on it as the scene switched, but it left me to ponder just why someone would want to keep that secret. Why would she not want to share that with this new man…and this is what I came up with.
Thank you for reading and your nice words.
Heart-wrenching, simply heart-wrenching…a remorseful write that expertly touches on the emotions. Some losses will always resonate through us, and the trials to push on, continue in the face of them, well…it is a long, slow process, with many bumps along the way.
What kind of man is that, who comes a-courtin? a jealous man?
Pity. Blake thought the worst of it.
Good poem of a widow who died with her spouse.
Powerful and real. It touched me deeply.
Vivid introspection, dramatic, poignant.
I wish her not be so sad for winter transforms and spring blooms hope anew.
Cheers!
So sad and very touching… you have really captured the feelings.
Thanks so much for your kind comments on my blog!!
All of us who are in a permanent relationship face this possibility, ever stronger as we grow older. You imagine it well and bring the pain to life. I was wincing from that horrible, condescending pity from the beginning–like salt in the wound. Your story rings true and very real.
This expresses that feeling of loss so well… in an effective, understated way (not melodramatic). To me, that’s good writing.
what a heavy burden of loneliness this is a bear…felt through your words…laying on his side of the bed just a tangible reminder…painful read…
oh kellie..this is deep and beautifully written..such tenderness..such loneliness…such longing but then the fear..and the memories…much enjoyed..
This is such a tender piece. It lingers and it moves. Beautiful!
Having lost my life-partner in 2005 I can tell you that your words are heartfelt and hit home. Yet, as we discover, the world doesn’t stop, life goes on regardless of our heartache.
Some losses we never totally heal from. You’ve expressed this well…the sadness, the remorse. Just as well you’ve expressed the difficulty in starting over, in letting another into our lives. Thank you for sharing.
Poignant and well-penned
Oh…oh…oh! So sad, but so beautifully and simply conveyed.
A wonderful verse, but yeah truly a sad feeling to it, but get back up and try again is all we can do.
Two good friends lost husbands to cancer a few years ago … so I’ve seen a lot of the very awkward returns to life you color in so well here. All those idiosyncrasies of shared existence look so strange when ripped in half.–But who said anyone gets through unblemished of the toll? Great tale – Brendan
Beautiful poem Kellie. So Honest and sincere. And be Happy. You deserve to be.
This is a beautiful poem Kellie. Very sincere and honest. Beautiful write. And Be Happy! You deserve to be.
When you write from your heart, you write it best. This was beautiful, heartfelt, and I’ll always remember it. Thank you.
Sad, sad poem…great last lines.
Wish you the very best.
Those last lines Kellie, even pulled at the Borg’s mechanized heart. This a a wonderful write!
Kellie, this made me sad but I love it!
The widowed, divorced and separated all share this loneliness. Nice write…. again… smiles
It’s a right we have, not to tell people about those who once owned our hearts (or those who will own it forever), let it not make you sad. You are an amazing woman. <3
Kellie, my dear… Pulling deftly on my heartstrings, with that music of sorrow… I have lain on the empty side of my bed, while the past impression of memory lay where once the warmth of love held my heart… I give you courage, my sister. I love you.