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Stalled out at just under 20,000 words. I have read and re-read my manuscript a dozen times in search of a sign. One line to say “Hey, tell me more HERE!” And when it refuses to speak… I pull my hair, bite my nails and then… I seek out advice.
I recently had the pleasure of speaking personally with Erika Robuck, author of the acclaimed novel, Hemingway’s Girl. I asked her if she might offer her advice, some simple words of wisdom to an aspiring novelist such as myself and she replied with a quote from Hemingway. “Remember,” she said, “the first draft is always shit.”
I could not agree more at this point.
Although I truly feel, deep down, that the story I am trying to tell is important in its own way. And believing that my character has so much to say, I can’t help but fear that I am saying too much. When reading his story from beginning to end, I am left with a mix of emotions. On one hand, the story is told. It is complete. All that I wanted to say is said. On the other hand, I question whether or not all that he has to say has been said.
I had begun to feel as though my story may only develop into a novella (if I’m lucky) because of the constant battle against the ideas in my head. Telling myself, ‘That’s too much. It will drown out the story.’ or ‘Would the reader really be interested in knowing this?’ But for me, the idea of an extremely rich, shorter story of a novella, over a long, dull, drawn out novel…doesn’t sound so bad to me. My goal is to keep the reader fully engrossed throughout. This is my first novel after-all and there is that whole thing about first impressions.
I asked Erika to tell me her thoughts on how I might get a better handle on the writing process.
“I’d read Stephen King’s ON WRITING for a feel for the process,” she said. “Then, with a first draft, just purge your mind and don’t worry if it makes sense.”
That was exactly what I needed to hear! I had been agonizing. Trying to find the perfect ‘spot’ in the story, a place I could manage to elaborate, I would feel as though I was forcing it to make sense. And if I couldn’t find the right place, or that perfect transition, then it was pointless to continue writing. This left me with many days of no progress. My character had to sit and wait for me to figure out what he was going to do next. When instead, he could have led me all along, had I just continued to write rather than revising every paragraph to prepare for the next.
“Revisions are when you tear it apart and put it back together,” Erika said to me, “trust the process…“
And so I must.
I now pick up my armor and shield, and march on. 18,505 words and pushing forward. Reminding myself to stop re-reading and just write it for crying out loud!
Kellie
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Previous Author Notes:
The Journey Toward My First Novel – Kellie Elmore
My Insecurities Go Viral – Kellie Elmore
Sneak Peak at Jagged Little Pieces – Kellie Elmore
Dear Kellie, I found your blog today. I was so moved by your writing, I actually wrote my very first piece of creative writing since some short attempt in my early 20s. I’m 50 now. I just wanted to feel what it is like to write like that and just put it out there. Thank you Kellie. Here it is. http://joannafunk.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/piano-practice/
You literally just gave me goosebumps! It is so exciting to hear that someone has come back to writing! I am happy I could have a little part in that! ♥
Off to your place…
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Hey Kellie
Great post. I’m up to my armpits in the muck with a new novel too. Thinking that I was ready for a dash to “the big climax” the “heartbreaking scene of astounding power” and then went…. “GACK, what if that ending that I dreamed of, that got me started writing this thing in the first place is no longer…..right???”
I pushed on for a few days.
And then I had to stop and print a hard copy to read it all and see what is actually there on the page.
Found a bizillion other things to do.
OH THE TERROR that it would all be DRECK.
Took me a few days to sit down to it.
Luckily… it doesn’t TOTALLY suck! Heh heh.
Your Post gives me heart.
Thanks.
go easy ~p
Writing is definitely challenging. All my best to you! You must come share your title with me when you publish!
I have a big problem like myself. I always try to get the first draft perfect and forget the first draft is just to get the story out. Forgetting that stumps me and makes me uncertain about everything, and uncertainty is a bad feeling to have when writing, isn’t it? Thanks for this reminder.
You go girl! Thanks for sharing this important advice to all of us aspiring writers!
A great advice and tips, now I let flow of my words… thanks for sharing…
Thanks for the advice. Good Luck!
AND! Aren’t you the gal who does the Free Write Friday thang?? Well… write freely, Kellie! Stop worrying the thing to death, and just say what you want to say. You are your characters, and even though they get independent and bossy sometimes, you control them, not the other way around. Gitter done!
I agree! My process is to just write, letting it pour out like it has a mind of its own, then go back and fix it, then go back and fix it, then go back and fix it…
Great advice, Kellie, and I wish you the best, my friend! xoxo
Thank you ♥
This is timely advice for me now, as I am writing my novel’s first draft. I must remember to just WRITE, to let it flow without going back to reread and edit. Thank you!
Best of luck to you on your journey! ♥
Best of luck…..I have heard by Ray Bradbury who wrote “Zen and the Art of Writing” that you should let the 1st draft be the FUN one where you get everything out on paper not matter what pours out. To just let it flow from that inner self where genius flows. The 2nd , 3rd and 4th reowrites should be the painful time not the first one because thats the one he says where you experience the joy of really writing…and isnt that why you write becaus you enjoy it says..:)
Indeed! Thank you for reminding me to just have fun with it. Something I had almost forgotten. Need to take some pressure off myself.
Best of luck…..I have heard by Ray Bradbury who wrote “Zen and the Art of Writing” that you should let the 1st draft be the FUN one where you get everything out on paper not matter what pours out. To just let it flow from that inner self where genius flows. The 2nd , 3rd and 4th reowrites should be the painful time not the first one because thats the one he says where you experience the joy of really writing…and isnt that why you write becaus you enjoy it says…:)
I think the first draft should be written without trying to write to your potential audience. There are always things to keep in mind while editing but while writing it is often left to the connection between the keyboard and your fingers not stopping the flow with the pressure of being funny, charming entertaining. There’s time to go back. Are you using a story board? That may give you a bit of structure if you are feeling wobbly.
Just think of it as one heck of a long free-write!
I have a problem with length as well btw because everything I have written to this point is short and to thee point. The tendency I have is not to trust reader retention which is very similar to what you mentioned.
Best of luck with the progress. 18.5k is amazing already
No, I actually did not begin with a story board, but later, with the help of Becky Dickson, we created an outline to go by once I had gotten stuck. It has worked so far. My issue that bogs me down is still the debate between adding more for word count sake. It feels like “filler” to me and really doesn’t go. Finding something that does “go” is my problem.
Thanks for your encouragement! ♥
Excellent advice …now I know I shouldn’t have thrown my 16,000+ words out but first draft is shit correct? LOL Good luck Kellie you are an accomplished author and it will come out in the wash.
Thanks so much, Len, for always supporting me! xoxoxox